`Rawr.

what's wrong?

Sunday, November 29, 2009

2:56 AM

stay strong dear girl. i don't know if you'll tell me anything if i ask, but do know i'll be here if you need me alright? cheer up. love you.

'Rawr.

beautiful (:

Saturday, November 28, 2009

7:04 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SILLY((:

i'm sorry about just now okay. but i believe you'd understand how i might be feeling too. and i'm sure we'll grow and learn along the way together. just like you said (:

i love your white shirt btw. it's like i'm in a mtv or drama. heh.

loves <3

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

birthday christmas us.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

6:12 PM

it feels like after exams. haha.

one more paper to go on 3rd dec, but i'm already going out like i'm having holidays. watched a christmas carol last night and probably watching one more show tonight. loveeee movies (:

i'm at silly's boss's place now. came together for his birthday surprise. silly's now playing mahjong and i'm BORED. and tired. we slept at 4am and when he woke up for work at around 7am, i couldn't go back to sleep after that. haha. so i watched drama and painted my nails(:

talking about surprise, i wonder what i should get him or plan for him for his birthday. headache)): i was thinking about a short getaway trip, and that's for myself also, but too last minute. i also thought of gathering his friends to give him a surprise but apparently that group of friends wouldn't be free on his birthday. just me and him? then can do what leh? sian. oh maybe i should get him many many tiny presents? oh oh! i was thinking about getting him an okaley sunglasses since his is spoiled. but then... so expensive... AIYA. don't know. and my plan to bake a cake leh. like no time also. his birthday is THIS SATURDAY leh. blah.

anyways! silly bought me a christmas tree! it's white and 'chacha'(that's according to how he describe so don't ask me what does chacha means. lol.). it'll light up and spin when it's on. SUPER PRETTY AND CUTE! makes me sooo happy. heh. loves christmas trees like that. makes me feel like a small girl. haha. THANK YOU LOVELY! i love it! (:

i can't wait for exams to be really over so we can go all over the place and be random all we want! i do hope we'll have time for the short getaway trip you said leh. i got all those events jobs and you have your work. tsk. i wanna go on a holiday!!!

loves loves <3

Labels: misc, silly

'Rawr.

i wanna SLEEP.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

12:22 PM

teppanyaki is YUMMMMMMMY!

i'm so freaking tired now. haven't really sleep since sunday 1 plus pm. and i still can't sleep cause i got another paper coming up at 5pm. greats.

i'm having a crazy exam period now. super tired and torturing, but fun and loving also. haha. had 2 paper yesterday yet i went out with silly on sunday till wee hours. crazy hor.

anyway we finally ate teppanyaki last night! so yummy. we were like this crazy couple in the restaurant lor. so funny.

tiring, but i'm lucky to have you here (:

jap2 later!

'Rawr.

hidden love message.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

11:15 PM

i don't know why we had to have that depressing convo today.

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

happy 24hours and more <3

Saturday, November 14, 2009

9:22 PM

-picked up from ADM
-lot 1 tako bubble tea
-lucky carpark
-road dash
-food republic
-cine
-christmas lighted walks
-camwhoring
-street ice creams
-00:00
-2012
-esplanade surprise (failed)
-jurong hill supposed surprise (failed too)
-polar chocolate cake
-macs breakfast
-04-573
-make noise
-morning showers
-xoxo
-sleep the day away
-rise and shine
-jp
-teppanyaki (failed 98463185415471 times)
-ding tai feng
-kallang macs mcflurry
-hello brother
-car change
-hello papa
-car change (again)
-marina sq
-kbox
-00:00
-love songs, sad songs, happy songs, funny songs
-lao ba sa
-04-573
-love
-hugs
-kisses
-((:

Labels: me, silly

'Rawr.

好人 (:

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

10:41 PM

yay tingting you're the best. haha. thanks for dinner! spent a bomb at jp. goodness. retail therapy rocks <3<3<3

and fenny's so cute she looks like my cousin with the braces. haha.

'Rawr.

supposed to be a short one.

7:21 PM

following meiyi my dear friend, according to this, i should also write down how i feel now.

i feel unhappy and lousy. feel stupid for the many bad/forgetful/pek chek incidents. i feel lazy. feel sucky about the whole day. today's a bad bad day.

okays i realize i don't really know how to put how i feel now into proper sentences. anyways, i'm hungry and i feel like eating the wild salmon pasta from ambush. and drink bubble tea. no one to eat dinner with, no one to complain to. okays la should have but i'm lazy to find and find and find. maybe i should just eat my cup noodles. save time also. or maybe i should go jp to pamper myself. aiye irritating. don't know what i wanna do.

and i was thinking to myself just now that silly seems to be like my personal walking blog. cause i can talk to him about things i don't really talk about to other people most of the time, and i can express myself. or at least he understands what i'm saying or trying to get at. and that's better than blogging sometimes.

and actually, what's the very main/original point of a blog? to express the author's thoughts, feelings? it's like an online diary isn't it? but nowadays blogs are not like that anymore. not all of course. people tend to have restraints when writing because people are reading it, and they may judge you. i don't know how to express myself clearly(get what i mean?) but i guess all i wanna say is, what's the point of me blogging when i can't say what i wanna say, express how i'm feeling, make nasty comments, scold fuck because i wanna scold fuck, and whatever more you can think of? what's the image i'm trying to portray and uphold? haha. i don't know anymore.

when i saw the facebook feed that munchun used 'lazy' and 'blurry' to describe me, i don't know if i should feel sad, or to laugh. and blurry totally reminds me of my whole day. i forgot to set my alarm and woke up late. forgot to ask wen to help me pass 50 to zh. left my thumbdrive in the library(for the zillion times) again, only to realise when i got back to hall after the long wait for shuttle. forgot to bring out 50 when i went back to library to take my thumbdrive. and i realise i didn't even ask for zh's number. and i should've brought out my wallet so i can buy dinner back on the way but i didn't.

great.

i wanted to go run and gym after sending wen the abstract but now all i wanna do is sleep and wait for him to come back. sucks.

Labels: me, misc, random, rants

'Rawr.

it's now or never.

4:25 AM

credit: lelove

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

birthday rocks ((:

Monday, November 9, 2009

1:08 AM

happidies (:
幸福就是这么简单。

these are the people so close to my heart, so important to me. people who can make me smile and laugh and shriek like a mad woman just so easily with the snap of the fingers. oh how much i love them.

celebrated my birthday at grandma's just now. had bbq steamboat, breadtalk's cake, mahjong, coke, laughters, forfeit dai di, loves, hugs and kisses.

love you <3

Labels: family, silly

'Rawr.

look at your post-it.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

8:43 PM

endless fearful nights. i must be insane.

I SHALL

USE THIS TIME TO

FINISH UP MY

ASSIGNMENTS,

REPORT DRAFT,

AND JAP HOMEWORK!

no time already ): shit.

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

beautiful nightmare

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

9:32 PM

you're like one beautiful nightmare that draws me close, killing me softly, slowly.

now i wonder where i got the power from, to tell you i'd be brave for you.
and i wonder where is it now.

drifting. just drifting.

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

when you're gone.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

11:19 PM

i don't know why i feel lost and scared everytime you have to be home. a place full of memories i don't wanna know of, a place of happiness, and sadness. this feeling started from that night i wrote you the card. it feels like you're not gonna come back. it feels like you're gonna tell me you guys are okay again and that you're sorry. it feels like i'm gonna lose you. and the feeling was so strong and i felt so damn freaking awful on sunday when you disappeared until 8pm. for a moment i really thought i lost you. i'm sorry for being such a paranoid. so much for wanting to believe every word you say, and to trust that you love me. i still can't help feeling insecure and have doubts. you're right, i do have so many mental barriers to overcome. i'm sorry you have to bear with me. really hope this phase can be over soon. how long more for me to feel at ease. sigh. but i'm thankful, that you found me. i'm grateful for all your efforts in securing me, taking care of me, and of course, loving me. thanks silly.

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

the unknown future.

10:37 PM

i just came back from watching My Sister's Keeper with wen, eileen, and ahjing. and the show made me kinda emo ):

i wonder what i'd do if i'm kate, if i'm anna, and if i'm sara. i mean they all have their own difficulties and worries, and tough decisions to make. i wonder what i'd do, if i can take this whole thing.

i started feeling emo thinking about us. thinking what would happen if i'm down if such an illness like kate's. would we have met each other like how we did? would you love me? and what if i fall sick like her, now. would you still love me? i guess i'll definitely choose to leave. i'd rather you be heartbroken than to see me leave you in that manner. it's such a cruel loss. it'll be so so sooo heart wrecking isn't it?

and then i thought about how our life would be if our daughter turns out like kate. (touchwood** but that's if we manage to stay together.) would i go crazy like sara because all i wanna do is to save her life? would i still be able to see the outside world? it's so.. sigh.

and then the part about taylor(is it spelled like that?) makes me embrace love a whole new time again. it's sad, yes, but they're so beautifully in love. they found each other. just, they had to part. bittersweet. i don't think i can take it if the person i love so much just disappear like that. i can't.

and in the end when anna was saying like, when kate died, she thought something would be different. like there will be streets named after kate, etc, but there isn't. nothing change. they just continue living, and kate just disappear like that. life goes on.

everything, every thought, is just so, heart breaking. sigh.

it's not really a very very sad show like what the girls said. but it make me think and wonder, and feel so sad about everything. and the worse part is, you're not here.

it's a nice show anyways.

---

i was hesitating about this post because i know for sure there'll be people asking me about it after they read this. i don't like that attention and gossips. i don't wanna think about how certain people would react to this. i'm scared. i'm scared of losing these few friends i cared for much. but then i don't wanna be living in the dark.

---

i'm glad you found me (:

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

1:03 PM

i love looking at you sleep like a little boy.

but i want this insecure phase to be over.

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

lost touch.

Monday, November 2, 2009

4:10 PM

eventful week.

updates, uploads, whatever. so lazy to do anything. haha. go check facebook la. i think by the time i upload and update mine, can be next year's events already.

exams are coming real soon. gonna start the hell-last-minute-chiong-study-overnight period again.

there will be a future,

we will.

'Rawr.

DANG! LOST PHONE!

Monday, October 26, 2009

2:08 AM

HELLO HELLO.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW YOUR

NUMBER BY WHICHEVER WAY

POSSIBLE IF YOU'RE READING

THIS BECAUSE I LOST MY

BLOODY PHONE!

THANK YOU MANY MANY!

'Rawr.

next 4 days.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

11:40 PM

i love

post-it notes
mango juice
guava juice
summer
love songs
sour cream & onion pringles
late suppers
smudged make-up
green apple dettol
blue elephant face towel
morning breakfast
surrogates
pretty lake
sunrise
running

hearts<3

Labels: silly

'Rawr.

hangovers

Thursday, October 15, 2009

1:04 AM

it feels like a new drama series playing yet replaying in my head. everything that happened seems too much to be true. too fast to be digested.

so now when i'm back in my room, bathed, and the hangovers gone, i realise it's not a damn big deal either. it may be a new light, but it can be another of those old movies played before. which i think it's the latter, so it's really no big deal.

i think i'm trying to convince myself what i just typed above. it IS no big deal, cause it's not like it didn't happen before. but it IS affecting my string of thoughts making them into jumbles of rumble nonsense. if there are words like that of course.

well i guess it wouldn't be of any big hooha anyways.

it did made me a little bit light-headed, and a little bit dreamy. but now that i'm back here typing this, reality check.

maybe i do hope hangovers can last.

'Rawr.